an awakening...i hope

do y'all ever just get stuck? i mean, so stuck in your daily routine, that you are certain works just fine for you, thankyouverymuch, that you don't even think that it is possible that you could do anything else and it work just as well, or probably even better?

folks, the tucker's are a busy folk. we never used to be and this mama is so not used to it. i was glad when ally claire came along b/c i was done with the baby havin' and ready to get on with the baby raisin'. and i say that b/c as soon as we got on up and going and a tiny bit independant, lo and behold, another one would come along. babies change things. they change them for the good, for sure, but they are so hard on control freaks and undiagnosed OCDers like me. i love every one of them to tiny little bits, but even after over seven years of being a mom, I don't think i've taken the time to adapt as i should have.

i don't take time for myself, and when i do, it's usually being lazy instead of being "uninterruptedly productive". the week that micah was out of town, i had to do everything myself. THAT EVEN MEANS TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE, Y'ALL! what woman that doesn't have to do that...does that? not i, said the little red hen. i'm not proud, but i'm kinda lazy. i loathe exercise with the intensity of a thousand hells. i don't have the luxury of time to go to a gym, and probably not the money. when my kids are all in school...possibly. but not now. right now, we are about to start having 6 baseball practices per week between the 2 boys for the month of march. i have no idea what will happen when games start in april.

last year, that meant more fast food. this year, i just can't do it. i cannot spend that kind of money on fat and convenience. and so that leads me to my awakening. mama needs to smarten up. it's time to get off of my hiney. it's time to get organized and be a better family manager. i'm failing my employees (cause those boys have chores, y'all. and we pay top dollar...2 dollars a week to be exact. what? that's good. they make the bed, put their dirty clothes in the laundry, wipe the table and sweep up crumbs.) i waste hours a day and sometimes still don't manage to get anything healthy on the table. it's my goal to make it just as convenient (and definitely healthier) to grab something that i have cooked ahead from the freezer than to drive to town to pick something up.

i have been taking time this morning to get ideas of what "freezes beautifully" (and if you can tell me what movie that phrase is from, we can continue to be BFFs). I grocery shop every week, but my goal is to do what i can in bulk ahead of time so that most suppers can be easy. i don't have a friend closeby to do this with, so general encouragement is completely accepted, as well as ideas. i patrolled the aisles of the freezer department to get ideas and while some convenience foods will remain (cause i ain't crazy), i want to cut out what i can.

now...while i totally think that (the cooking) it is something i can tackle in the next couple of months...the exercising...SIGHS. i don't know how else to say it. i'm gonna have to get up early. i'm talkin' 6:30!! (don't laugh you people who get up at quarter past a rooster's crack. if you know me at all, you know that i'd take a night job at the hospital before the day shift ANY DAY b/c of that getting up early stuff.) i mean, i got up at that time for a jillion years BC (before children). i'll have to retrain myself. my attitude is so lacking at that time of day, but if i want time to get it done, that's it. i'm too tired at night. for now, i still have 2 kids at home most of the day every day. in the fall, my schedule will change again when...wait for it...drum roll please...SETH STARTS KINDERGARTEN!!!!! so he and luke will be at the same school...all day...everyday! what will I do with just me and the sis (who will go to MMO one day a week)?

I don't know kids, but i hope to be more firmly grounded in a healthier, more organized and balanced lifestyle that I am currently in. you'll put on your best polyester and cheer for me, right?