Sunday, May 11, 2008

My Mother's Day gift

On this mother's day, I am 30 years old, I have a 4.5 year old son, a 2.5 year old son and am 30 days from delivering my daughter. This year, I'm not actually receiving a gift. But that is ok. I don't think I deserve one. I don't think I have been the essence of a mother this year. I know I haven't been what or who my kids deserve. But this year, what I want is to turn the tables and give them the Mother's Day gift. I want them to have who and what they deserve. I want to be the mom who realizes that time is precious and short. The one who realizes that the only difference between the child who is 4 and the one who will be born in 4 weeks is that the unborn has the benefit of not having been let down repeatedly. I want to be the mom who realizes that they are more important than clean laundry, swept floors or tv reruns. I want them to see me and feel comfort. I want to put them above all of my wants, b/c there was a time when all i wanted was them. I want their physical, emotional and spiritual well being to be what matters most. I never want to go to bed without having prayed for them by name. I want to understand that they are only with me for a short time and that i should make the most of every moment. God may take them before me. They may leave on their own will. But if or when either happens, I don't want to have any regrets. Some people struggle for one little blessing and i have been easily blessed 3 times. I am ashamed for any moment that they have been taken for granted. I want the discipline I have to give my children to be in correction, not in frustration. I want to love and praise them for who and who's they are, never because of what they do. I don't want to be perfect or even give the impression that it is my goal. I can only hope that my kids can learn from my mistakes. but i do want to be mindful and responsible with my thoughts, my actions, my words and my time. You can't get back what has already passed, but you can change the future. That is the very least of what they deserve. I owe them that. I want this to be my gift to them starting on this mother's day.

(and just to clarify i asked for a book for mother's day, but it's not out until close to Christmas. so I'll be treating myself to the "mother" of all pedicures just before sissy comes. i didn't want anyone to think my man was slacking!)

4 comments:

The Bowerman Blog said...

Wow! Your thoughts made me think of myself and the times I selfishly put housework or whatever it is in front of the kids. I think so many moms feel the same way you do and resolve to be better moms like you have. That was very encouraging to read!
Look forward to hearing about your trip to the zoo as well.

Tiffany said...

Wonderful post, Becky! I know you are already an amazing mom and an incredible blessing to all three of your children, but I can really see your heart in this as you seek to continually be the mother that God wants you to be to your family. You and your family are in my prayers. Thanks for sharing these beautiful thoughts.

Tony and Susan said...

thanks! i am snotting and crying on my computer now! i haven't done a mother's day post because i'm not sure i can handle the emotions!! thanks so much for that! it was beautiful!

John, Kisti & Maren said...

Well said! I'm sure you are a fantastic mom;)

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